It is not true.
However, if wasting time is part of a precise process that will lead me to precisely what I'm heading towards, then I'm really quite helpless, aren't I?
It's confusing, but think of it this way: what you do decides the future. What you do not do is just as, if not more important. I've been doing little, but there's a lot that I haven't been doing. There's a lot that I could do, but I don't. I'm glad that in the continuum of responsibility, I am far from being completely reckless.
Though that is not to say that I'm getting my jollies off mediocrity.
I sense that my time here may come to an end. It may not, but there is a strong chance that it will. The possible end to this journey is now within sight. I see an oasis in the distance. It is either where I set out from, or it is a place completely new. It may be a mirage, and this desert may be never-ending.
such bland text. crap, even by rambling standards.
you see that, though? The self-doubt is a dead give-away. I am getting weaker by the day. I am slowly but surely heading to the same place that I spent all summer digging my self out of. My family, and the clean, welcome air of Lahore was my guiding light.
I am tempted, with my layman understanding of endorphins, to think that exercise will solve my problems. This may be so, but the problem may be a bit more complex.
Or it may be very simple, a notion that my superego would carelessly dismiss. simple, you say? nay!
Oh, and there's a whole lot of stuff I need to do. A check-list has come into play. If I am really to leave, then I will make sure that I take care of all unfinished business. you, and you...and you.
but mostly just you...
we're being forced to grow older and I don't like it. but if it is to happen, then let me have this last dance. grant me frolick, teenage dreams and absurd fashion. complete childishness is what this would-be adult is asking for.
I need a damn lantern.
x\
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