Monday, November 8, 2010


I like to think that I've been too busy living the crazy, upbeat life of this metropolitan to have the time to blog about it.

It is not true.

However, if wasting time is part of a precise process that will lead me to precisely what I'm heading towards, then I'm really quite helpless, aren't I?

It's confusing, but think of it this way: what you do decides the future. What you do not do is just as, if not more important. I've been doing little, but there's a lot that I haven't been doing. There's a lot that I could do, but I don't. I'm glad that in the continuum of responsibility, I am far from being completely reckless.

Though that is not to say that I'm getting my jollies off mediocrity.

I sense that my time here may come to an end. It may not, but there is a strong chance that it will. The possible end to this journey is now within sight. I see an oasis in the distance. It is either where I set out from, or it is a place completely new. It may be a mirage, and this desert may be never-ending.

such bland text. crap, even by rambling standards.

you see that, though? The self-doubt is a dead give-away. I am getting weaker by the day. I am slowly but surely heading to the same place that I spent all summer digging my self out of. My family, and the clean, welcome air of Lahore was my guiding light.

I am tempted, with my layman understanding of endorphins, to think that exercise will solve my problems. This may be so, but the problem may be a bit more complex.

Or it may be very simple, a notion that my superego would carelessly dismiss. simple, you say? nay!

Oh, and there's a whole lot of stuff I need to do. A check-list has come into play. If I am really to leave, then I will make sure that I take care of all unfinished business. you, and you...and you.

but mostly just you...

we're being forced to grow older and I don't like it. but if it is to happen, then let me have this last dance. grant me frolick, teenage dreams and absurd fashion. complete childishness is what this would-be adult is asking for.

I need a damn lantern.


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